Top 5 Ways To Piss a Bill Collector Off…

I’m sure everyone reading has had a bad experience with a bill collector at one time or another.  If you’re tired of it and/or you’ve got some bill collectors harrassing you, here are the top 5 ways to piss them off…

1.  Use one word responses…Example:  BC:  This will go on your credit.  You:  And?
2. Tell them a really good sob story.  Make sure you continue going as long as you can without getting interrupted.  This takes a bit of practice bu, in time, you should be able to hit the 2-5 minute mark of wasting their time.  They get paid by the amount of money they actually collect so time is $$$ to them.
3. Act confused and ask them to repeat themselves.  A lot.  No, really, no ablas englais or however it’s spelled :P
4. Ask them lots of questions about who they’re with, their address, etc.  Again, it’s a time waster but you can also use the information later to send them a stop calling me letter.
5. My personal favorite is to say something like “Well, my income is XXX and my expenses are YYY (go into lots of details)” and I have Z left over for food.  Which do you think I should do?  Eat or pay this bill?  Funniest response so far?  “Sir, don’t ask me that question please!”.

G-Man

P.S.  Yeah, I really should be sleeping right now instead of writing humorous posts.  Go go methylprednisone and insomnia!